One lazy summer day, the residents of the Kamiya Dojo were all relaxing in their own way. Sano was leaning against the side of the house gnawing at a fishbone while chatting with Kenshin; Kenshin was washing the laundry while listening to Sano's idle chatter; Yahiko was in the training hall practicing his swings and Megumi and Kaoru were sitting on the porch engaged in the latest gossip.
Kaoru suddenly remembered something she had to show Megumi. She ran into the house and then returned with several books.
"Look Megumi, they finally came!" said Kaoru as she proudly showed off all of her new western romance novels to Megumi.
"I've waited six months for them to come!"
"I heard that those are very good books," said Megumi as she winked at Kaoru.
"I know, I can't wait to read them," replied Kaoru while blushing.
They both started giggling.
Kenshin glanced over to the giggling girls wondering what they were up to.
Yahiko heard them giggling too. With a mischievous grin on his face, he ran over to Kaoru and snatched one of the books out of her hand.
"Hey! Give that back you little brat!" shouted Kaoru.
Yahiko looked at the book and read the title of the book out loud.
"The Silk Princess and the Lonely Samurai, romance novel by Lawrence Winchester."
Yahiko turned to Kenshin and asked, "Hey Kenshin, what's a romance novel?"
Kenshin blushed a little. "Well…. uhm…. it is…. uhm"
Sano looked at the blushing rurouni and then turned to Yahiko and answered, "A romance novel is a woman's way of having sex when she can't get a man."
Kaoru blushed furiously and then whacked Sano as hard as she could.
"Sanosuke, you pervert!" WHACK!!!
Megumi just shook her head and mumbled, "baka!" Then she turned her attention to a now confused Yahiko and explained, "A romance novel is a type of book that expresses adventure, excitement, love, passion and…."
"Ok, ok, I get it already," said Yahiko as he blushed slightly. "It's just some dumb old book that ugly girls read when they can't get a man."
"Yeah that's right Yahiko," chuckled Sano.
Kaoru whacked both Sano and Yahiko on the head. Then she snatched her book back from Yahiko saying, "For your information, everyone in town has been talking about Lawrence Winchester's romance novel. His book is a best seller.
The other romance novelists are also good. Such as Ryujinbito; Zosocrowe; Susan; Karina Kineshi; Bao Blossom; Crystal Okamino; Racoon Girl, Chibi-Anghel and Gypsy-chan. I love reading their stories."
"Well I've never heard of any of them," said Yahiko.
"That's because you're still a little brat who doesn't have good taste," quipped Kaoru as she folded her arms.
"Don't call me "little" you ugly girl." At this point, Yahiko and Kaoru were getting ready to fight.
Megumi walked over to them and said, "Kaoru-chan, I must get back to the clinic. I have to relieve Dr. Genzai. He's been covering for me while I took a break."
"Arigatou for stopping by Megumi-dono," replied Kaoru.
"May I borrow a couple of books from you?"
"Hey fox, what'd you need those books for when you got me!" shouted Sano.
Megumi ignored him and took the books that Kaoru offered her. "Arigatou for the books Kaoru-chan. I'll return them sometime next week."
"Keep them as long as you like Megumi-chan," replied Kaoru.
Sano walked over to the girls and looked at one of Kaoru's book.
"The Silk Princess and the Lonely Samurai huh? Can I see that Jou-chan?"
Kaoru handed him the book.
Sano flipped through a few pages of the book and said, "I can write romantic crap like this."
Megumi slanted her eyes upward and said, "I didn't know rooster heads could write."
The girls giggled.
"Hey fox! Did you have to call me rooster head?"
"Do you have to keep calling me fox? I do have a name you know."
Kenshin could see that the two were about to get into an argument. He interrupted them by saying, "I think it is good that you have a talent to write Sano."
"Hai, hai, I can do a lot of that romantic stuff," responded Sano before burping. "I'm an expert in love."
Megumi cringed after hearing him belching and said, "Ok Mr. Expert, can you recite poetry?"
"Yeah, yeah I can do that stuff too," he answered hoping she wouldn't ask him to actually do it.
Megumi gave him a questioning look and said, "Well, rooster head why don't you delight us with one of your romantic poems."
"Just wait a minute fox, I have to think." He began scratching his spiky hair.
"Are you sure you know how to think," giggled Kaoru.
Sano glared at her and then began concentrating on what he was going to say.
Megumi was really hoping that he would say something romantic to her. Sano walked over to her, rested his hand on Megumi's shoulders, looked deeply into her eyes and said,
"Roses are red, violets are blue, come on baby let's you and me screw."
Megumi knocked his hands off her shoulders and yelled, "That's not romantic you moron!"
"I should have known better than to expect something romantic from you," she stated before twirling around and storming out the dojo gates.
Sano began running after her yelling, "Megumi! Wait!!"
Kaoru turned to Kenshin and in her most sweetest voice said, "Kenshin, say something romantic to me," she asked while batting her eyes.
Sweat drops were now forming on his head, "But Kaoru-dono, sessha…"
Kaoru whacked him on the head and yelled, "Himura Kenshin you better say something romantic to me right now or I'll… I'll…."
Her knuckles had begun to whiten from the grip she used to hold her bokken.
"Sessha will try to say something romantic," Kenshin nervously replied.
He scratched his head trying desperately to come up with something romantic to say to her. Finally, he cleared his throat and said,
"Kaoru-dono, Kaoru-dono so lovely and fair…"
Kenshin paused for a moment trying to think of what to say next. Kaoru smiled brightly saying, "go on, go on."
"I love to wash your.... underwear?"
Kaoru blushed crimson in color. "Kenshin you pervert!" she yelled before whacking him so hard sending him flying across the yard.
"You are the most unromantic man I have ever met," she shouted as she threw the washtub at him. Kaoru took her books and held them tightly under her arm and stormed into the house.
Kenshin's eyes began swirling as he thought, "I guess underwear wasn't the right word to use."
One week later, Sano stopped by to see Kenshin.
"Hey Kenshin, how's it going?"
Kenshin didn't answer. He kept scrubbing the sheet until it had begun to tear. Kenshin was daydreaming about Kaoru.
Sano slapped him hard on the back yelling, "Snap out of it Kenshin!" Kenshin went flying across the yard.
"What's the matter with you? Jou-chan still not speaking yet?"
"Hai," responded Kenshin after his eyes stopped swirling.
"Geez. She really can be stubborn," said Sano while helping Kenshin off the ground.
"Me and the fox made up last night. The best part of breaking up is making up. Heh! heh!"
"Sessha wished that Kaoru-dono would speak to sessha again," pouted Kenshin.
"Kaoru-dono does not look at sessha anymore. She spends all her time reading that book. Sessha does not think Kaoru-dono should read that book anymore. It makes her blush and breathe funny. She used to only take hot baths. Now her bathwater is getting colder and colder."
Sano gave Kenshin a wicked grin and said, "Sounds to me like that book is getting more action from Jou-chan than you."
Kenshin glared at him with eyes flashing amber.
"Hey! Don't blame me," he said while backing away from Kenshin. "It's that stinking book that's stealing your girl."
"Hai," he sighed, "You are right. This is all my fault."
Sano arched his eyebrow at his red headed friend. "Huh?"
"Sessha will explain." Kenshin began whispering things into Sano's ears.
Sano stood up and narrowed his eyes at Kenshin and burst out laughing.
"I can't believe it! Jou-chan is getting the hots off a romance novel that you wrote?"
"Shhh," said Kenshin. "Kaoru-dono must not know that sessha wrote it."
"I still don't get why you did it. Why don't you just give her some flowers, whisper some sweet stuff in her ears and jump her bones. That's what I do with the fox. It works every time."
Kenshin shook his head and replied, "Sessha cannot do that with Kaoru-dono. Sessha is unworthy of her love. So sessha will continue to write romance novels if it pleases Kaoru-dono. It also helps sessha to relieve uhm…. uhm…."
"Yeah, yeah I get it," chuckled Sano. "Hmph…Who would have thought that the Hitokiri Battousai writes romance novels. Talk about your poetic justice."
"Sano, please do not tell anyone," replied Kenshin while blushing. "Sessha would be embarrassed for others to find out, especially Kaoru-dono."
"Yeah okay." A moment of silence between the two men. Then suddenly Sano burst out in laughter saying, "I can't wait to tell the fox!"
"I'm just kidding Kenshin. Geez, don't be so serious. Besides, you shouldn't be worrying about who finds out your secret. You should be thinking of a way of getting Jou-chan to notice you again.
You're an idiot if you think she will settle for reading those romance novels. What are you going to do if she decides to try some of that stuff out on some other guy one day?"
"Oro? Sessha never thought of that."
"I've got a plan." Sano leaned over and began whispering in Kenshin's ears. A wide smile grew on Kenshin's face.
"Sessha likes that plan."
Sano whacked him in the head, "Would you quit with the "Sessha" already!"
The next day started off as usual with Kenshin doing the laundry while Yahiko was in the yard practicing. Kaoru had just finished taking her bath. She was keeping a careful eye on her students' swings.
Sano stopped by to see Kenshin. "Oi Kenshin."
Kenshin looked up and greeted his friend. "You just missed breakfast Sano."
"Yeah I know. I would have been here sooner if it hadn't been for all the commotion that foreign guy caused. I think he is the author of one of those books the fox was reading. You should have seen all the women lined up just to see him."
Kaoru's ears perked up. She quickly glanced over to where Sano and Kenshin were sitting. She tried to eavesdrop on their conversation.
Yahiko became annoyed. "Hey ugly, are you paying attention to my swings or not!"
Kaoru whacked him on the head. Whack!
"Ouch! What'd you do that for you old hag."
"That's for calling me ugly. Now do two hundred more strokes."
Yahiko grumbled but did as Kaoru instructed. He knew disobeying her would only be grounds for more punishment.
Kaoru moved closer to Kenshin and Sano to hear their conversation.
"Why has he come to town?" asked Kenshin.
"I guess he wants to push off some more of those books."
"Well I hope he is gone by the time I finish the laundry. I have to go into town and buy tofu. I do not like to be around large crowds, that I do not."
Kaoru quickly went over to them and said, "I'll go and get the tofu today Kenshin. You can stay and do the laundry."
"But I thought that getting the tofu was my job."
Sano grinned and replied, "I think Jou-chan just want to see that foreign guy."
"Sanosuke how could you say such a thing," blushed Kaoru. "I need to go into town to take care of some business. While I'm there I can pick up the tofu."
"I'll go with you Kaoru-dono."
"No Kenshin, you can stay and finish the laundry. I know how much you hate crowds."
"Stay and do the laundry!" she shouted while shoving the bokken inches within his face.
"Hai, ma'am," he sheepishly replied.
Kaoru quickly went inside the house.
Sano winked at Kenshin. Kenshin just smiled.
As Kaoru was getting dressed she thought,
"I wonder what he looks like? His novels are so romantic. I wished Kenshin were more romantic with me. He probably doesn't look at me that way. He may only think of me as a little sister, just as I view Sano and Yahiko as my brothers."
"Oh Kenshin," she sighed as a single tear trickled down her face.
After a half an hour Kaoru came out of the house dressed in a sky blue kimono with white butterflies. She had a royal blue ribbon in her head to match her kimono. Kenshin's mouth hung opened as he watched her near him.
Sano whistled and said, "Hey Jou-chan you look nice."
"Uhm... What did you say you were going in town to get," he smirked.
"None of your business jerk!"
Kaoru turned toward Kenshin hoping he would say something nice.
He smiled and said, "Kaoru-dono…"
"Hai Kenshin," she answered in anticipation.
"Here's the tofu bucket. Could you pick up some fish too?"
Kaoru whacked him in the head with the tofu bucket shouting, "Kenshin no baka!" Then stormed out the gate.
As Kenshin lay with his eyes swirling Sano quickly lifted him off the ground saying, "You'd better hurry up or you'll ruin everything."
Upon reaching town, Kaoru stopped by to see Megumi.
"You just missed the author of that new book you're reading. He was soooo handsome."
Kaoru folded her arms and began pouting and mumbled. "Mou! Why didn't Sano come by sooner with the news."
"What did you say Kaoru-chan?"
Kaoru quickly put a smile on her face and answered, "Nothing. I guess I better go and get the tofu. Arigatou for your time Megumi-chan."
Megumi smiled inwardly and replied, "I did hear that he was eating lunch at the Akabeko. If you hurry you may be able to catch him there."
Kaoru perked up and thanked Megumi before quickly heading to the Akabeko.
As she entered the restaurant she casually looked around. She was hoping to find him. Tae walked over to her friend.
"You look very pretty today Kaoru-chan."
"Arigatou Tae-chan." Kaoru continued looking around the restaurant.
"Are you looking for someone special Kaoru-chan?"
"Hai, Uhm… Did a foreigner come in here for lunch today?"
"Do you mean the author of the new romance novel everyone has been talking about?"
"Hai," responded Tae. "Would you like to meet him?"
Kaoru began blushing furiously, "Hai! Hai!"
"Follow me," responded Tae as she silently giggled.
She led Kaoru to a booth in the back. Kaoru saw a man dressed in a dark colored western suit and tie. He had a western styled hat on and dark glasses.
Tae said to the man, "Excuse me Winchester-san, this is my good friend Kamiya Kaoru. Kaoru this is Lawrence Winchester."
The man stood and took Kaoru's hand and turned it over lightly kissing it. Kaoru blushed crimson in color.
"It is a pleasure meeting you," said Winchester-san. "I was on my way for a stroll through town. Would you care to join me?"
"Hai Arigatou Winchester-san." Kaoru smiled.
As they walked Winchester-san said, "You look lovely Kamiya-dono." Kaoru blushed.
"Arigatou Winchester-san." Kaoru thought, "Why couldn't Kenshin say that to me?"
They continued on walking in silence for a while. Kaoru broke their silence by saying, "I really enjoyed reading your new book."
"Are you speaking about the Silk Princess and the Lonely Samurai?"
"Hai," she replied. "It was wonderfully written. It is my favorite."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Which character did you like the most?"
"I would say the lonely samurai. I know what it feels like to be lonely and unloved," replied Kaoru as she cast her eyes downward.
"The lonely samurai wanted to give the silk princess his undying love, but he was afraid that the she would reject him. He never thought he was good enough for her. Baka! Couldn't he see how much she loved him? The silk princess didn't care about his past; she loved him for the man he was. He sounds like a friend I know."
"Tell me about your friend," asked Winchester-san.
"He's the kindest sweetest person I know. He always put the needs of others before himself. But sometimes he can be a real idiot."
Winchester-san chuckled lightly and asked, "Why do you call him an idiot?"
"Because he's too dense to see that I'm in love with him!"
After realizing what she had just blurted out, she quickly covered her mouth saying, "Gomen Winchester-san I shouldn't have said that."
Kaoru stopped walking and noticed that the man wasn't walking alongside her. She turned around to find him standing motionless in one spot. "Winchester-san?"
He stood frozen thinking, "She loves me? Kaoru-dono is in love with me?"
His eyes began to swirl as he fell to the ground. Kaoru became nervous and called out to him. "Winchester-san! Winchester-san! Please wake up!" He still didn't move.
Kaoru rushed over to him. As she lifted him into a sitting position, his hat fell off revealing fiery red hair. Kaoru snatched the glasses off his face and saw lavender eyes that were now beginning to focus on her.
"Kenshin no baka! What do you think you're doing?" She yelled as she whacked him hard on the head.
Kaoru jumped up and shouted, "How could you trick me like this Kenshin?! Pretending to be the author of my favorite book! I hate you!" she cried out as hot tears poured down her face.
She picked up the bottom of her kimono and began running away from him as fast as she could.
"Kaoru-dono wait!" he yelled. Kaoru never turned back. She kept on crying and running.
Kenshin stood frozen watching her retreating figure slipping further and further away from him.
"What have I done to make her hate me? I must find her quickly. I love her too much to let her go."
Kenshin used his godlike speed to catch up to Kaoru. After catching up to her he grabbed her by the arms. She struggled fiercely to free herself but he held on to her with an iron-like grip.
"Let me go Kenshin!" she demand.
"Kaoru please wait and listen to what I have to say."
Kaoru stood frozen. "He didn't use the honorific. He called me by my given name."
"Kaoru, I did not play a trick on you. I… I am the author of the romance novel you have been reading."
Kaoru was stunned. "What? You mean you wrote the book?"
Kenshin lowered his head and replied,
"I did it because it was the only way that I could safely express my feelings for you. I love you so much Kaoru. I thought if I told you how I felt you would probably reject me. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. So I thought the best way to release the love I had burning inside for you was to put it in a romance novel. I took on a western name. I did not want anyone to know that I wrote the book. Gomen if I misled you."
"Kenshin no baka!" she said while playfully hitting him. "I understand why you couldn't tell anyone. It's not everyday that you hear of a hitokiri writing romance novels." They both laughed.
Kaoru moved closer to him and gazed into his eyes.
"Kenshin, I want to hear the sweet words the lonely samurai said to the silk princess. Please say those words to me."
Kenshin took her into his arms and said,
You are the rainbow that has restored color into my life.
Without you I would have continued wandering in darkness.
You are the dream that chases away my nightmares.
Without you I would have never awaken to another day.
You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
The only one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Kenshin pulled out a small pouch from the sleeve of his gi. He opened the pouch and took out a diamond ring. After selling his romance novel he had enough money to buy a diamond ring for Kaoru.
Tears began streaming down Kaoru's eyes as Kenshin took her hand and placed the ring upon her finger.
"Kamiya Kaoru, my silk princess, it would bring this lonely samurai much honor if you would be my wife."
"Hai," she replied through many tears. "I love you Kenshin."
"I love you too my koishii," he replied as he pulled her into a deep embrace and began passionately kissing her.
After breaking the kiss Kaoru asked, "So are we going to do the same thing that the princess and the samurai did in chapter 10 of your book?"
"No," he replied in a deep sexy voice. "We're going to start our own chapter and it will definitely be hot and steamy."
Kaoru blushed a crimson color. Kenshin pulled her into a warm embrace and kissed her again.
...and they lived happily ever after.